Haiti the Good the bad and the ugly! The most memorable day

I loved waking up in the morning while in Haiti. Around 5:00 a.m. every morning I would wake to hear the Haitian staff singing for their morning devotions.It was heavenly! The roosters were crowing in the background and I would hear the soft swishing sound of a straw broom as someone was sweeping the sidewalks. It was sooooooo peaceful and beautiful.

Our mission today was to go to Maison d’Lesperance or House of Hope. House of Hope is a hospital for children but now is also an orphanage. About 50 children in the hospital went in sick, some with tuberculosis and their families never returned to pick them up. So they live there now. Its unimaginable that could happen.

This was the highlight of my trip! It was also the place where I cried the most! We walked in to the hospital it was a courtyard type of area with no roof and then joining cement rooms all around the court yard. All the little girls had their hair all beautifully braided with colorful beads. In fact everywhere we went in Haiti the girl’s hair was always done meticulously.

I went into a room there were about 6 beds with mommies with their sick children. The first bed I looked at held a set of twins. A baby boy and girl. I have never seen such tiny emaciated babies in my life. I asked the mom if I could hold one of her babies and she smiled and said yes. I picked up the little boy. His big brown pleading eyes bore into my soul. As I held him I could feel each bone in his back. His little pelvis was poking into my hand, his collar bones sticking out, and the skin was hanging off of him. Even his little jaw bones are sticking out. No chubby little cheeks. He was 6 weeks old and I would guess he weighed about 3 lbs. The mom gave me a bottle so I could feed him. There is food for him but only so much. He is rationed. Clearly the mom was unable to nurse her babies as well.

I was filled with deep despair, looking into this little boys eyes and wondering if he was going to make it or HOW he could make it.

Another woman in there was with her two year old son. I later found out this woman lost her husband in the earthquake in 2010 and was pregnant during the earthquake with the little boy she had in the hospital. I don’t know if the earthquake was the reason the boy was in the hospital now or what was wrong with him.

Another mom who was very quiet and somber I would smile at her but get no response.  She had two children with her. One little one who looked so healthy and happy. The chubbiest little cheeks. Hair done in little braids. So beautiful I thought it was a little girl, but noticed a little naked body that indicated he was a little boy. The mom was leaning over another child probably about the same length as the one on the floor but he was very skinny. The one on the floor was 10 months old the one in the bed was 2 years old and very tiny and not well.

I was overwhelmed and having a hard time keeping it together so I left the room and I cried! More like Sobbed. I said to Christine I don’t’ think I can do this! I pulled myself together and went into the courtyard. There I was met by a group of smiling happy healthy beautiful children.

One little girl attached herself to me, grabbed my hand and pulled me away from the group. She motioned to me to sit and so I sat on the ground with her. She did so well trying to communicate with me. She spoke French and I used my limited French. She also wrote notes on the cement with Chalk. She wrote ESTHER and points to herself. I take the chalk and write KAREN and point to myself.  She then wrote I LOVE YOU KAREN! I wrote back I LOVE YOU ESTHER! She then says in her broken English “YOU BE MY MOM???”

I didn’t know what to say! I hugged her and we continued to draw pictures and play. She stuck with me the whole morning. When it was time to go she walked me to the bus and I gave her a big hug and boarded the bus in tears. Again I felt helpless. Here is a little girl who wants a family. Who wants to be loved. That’s all she wants. It just doesn’t seem fair!

In the afternoon we went to the brothel and the prison. Such a contrast to where we were in the morning.

The Missions newest project is to work with the women in the brothel. These women believe that God will never love them. They are the outcasts of Haiti because of their job. Our mission is to build relationships, show love and share God’s love with them. They want the women to feel loved and to be able to come to the mission for medical help, etc. Right now they do not feel worthy.

We walked through town to get to the brothel. Again the children from the streets followed us but were stopped from entering the road that the brothel was on. It was not safe for them to come to the brothel with us. We arrived at the brothel and our interpreter spoke to the woman and asked if we could do devotion and sing to them. They agreed, but the mood was very tense and angry. We found out later that the mood and behaviour is very dependent on whether there are men there or not. If men are not there the woman are a little more relaxed and open. While we were there the men were there.

The brothel was a small cement building that appeared empty inside. No beds, no furniture. I am not sure how many women and children live in this building I would guess at least 15 women plus children.

There was a straw thatched roof like an awning attached to the side of the building. The ladies brought out a wooden bench where they sat to listen to the devotion but were really not interested. You could tell they were talking about us and were not pleased.

We did our devotion and then we sang. They appeared a little brighter as we sang. We asked if we could give the kids candy and they said yes. Maggie offered to hand out the candy. The kids started swarming her. I could tell by her face that she was getting overwhelmed. I said to Brian “get her out of there” as soon as I said that the kids grabbed the bag and mothers and children mobbed. Brian quickly grabbed Maggie and the security guards that came with us stepped in to control the crowd. The mothers were fighting because they felt their kids were missing out on getting candy. Some kids and mothers were grabbing handfuls of candy while other kids were getting nothing. It was CHAOS! Very Uncomfortable VERY SCARY  for all of us but especially for my grandkids.

This is one example of what can happen if you start giving things out. That’s why the mission asks us not to give money or shoes etc. It brings out jealousy and fighting among the Haitians. We had permission to hand out the candy but it did not go well.

We prayed with them and then left.

Our next stop was the jail. The jail is small ,just two small cells. There were only 5 men in the jail on this day. They were all in one cell. In Haiti you can get thrown in jail for no reason at all. You will see a judge to present your case whenever. There is no real justice system there. The larger prison in Port a Paix is much worse. We opted out of going to this because we had the kids with us. In Port a Paix there are about 50-60 men in one 12 x12 cell. There are no cots, just a cell. The men have no room to all sit or lie down at the same time. Many are not clothed. They do not get food unless their family brings them food. They can be in jail for two years or more before a judge will even hear their case.

The same is true for this small jail we went to. No food no beds.

The men were a little more receptive to us being there. They seemed very attentive to us until I realized their attention was focused on our female interpreter who had a low cut blouse on. They were making comments to her about her breasts. We did a devotion sang our songs and gave them some food and water.

I was discouraged! This was a tough afternoon. This was not fun! I was hot, overwhelmed, over stimulated from all the kids hanging on me while walking. From them wanting me to buy bracelets, to asking for water and shoes, to the constant touching and crowding. I was feeling like we didn’t really help or make a difference this afternoon.

Then I felt God speak to me. Ministry is not always BEAUTIFUL as it was at HOUSE of HOPE. Sometimes it’s ugly and hostile as it was at the brothel. Jesus was not always accepted and appreciated where he went. He was rejected and ridiculed. Ministry was sometimes tough for him.

Then He showed me that what we experience with the kids is similar to what Jesus felt when he was doing ministry as well. When Jesus went out he was followed by hundreds of people. People wanting to touch him. Hang on him. People demanding things, asking for healing, asking for things.

What we experienced was minute in comparison to what Jesus went through. I can imagine He was overwhelmed some days. It even said in scripture that he would go off to be by himself.

I am not comparing myself to Jesus , but it did give me a visual of what Jesus went through, BUT his was on a larger scale. If ministry was tough for him why wouldn’t it be tough for me? It isn’t always a feel good experience. It will be tough and challenging some times. I just need to be obedient.

It was an interesting day! Again I go to bed spiritually, emotionally and physically drained, but BLESSED! Looking forward to being awakened by the heavenly voices of the Haitians, and the crowing of the rooster and waiting to see what God has in store for me .